Day 0 – The end has to come for the beginning to start

Here we are. My last day as a professional…as a VP. For so long I’ve defined – or been defined – by my work…by my title…by my place within a professional organization. But I’m so much more than that one dimension…and that’s what I’m going to dedicate my time to exploring. Who am I? Who do I want to be? What’s important to ME? But before I dive into all that, I want to stay in the moment. That moment is today. My last day.

It’s nearly impossible to define the emotions. I’m excited. Happy. Terrified. Nervous. Anxious. Calm. I’m all those things and more – so much so that I’m really just numb. I don’t want to be numb.  I want to fully feel this experience for everything it is…but without short circuiting the wiring, of course.

For the past 15 years, I’ve driven to the same office (except when I was traveling), parked in the same parking garage (except when I was parking at the airport), ridden in the same elevators. And it all ends today – by choice.  I’m retiring to spend the next 365 days (or longer…however long I want actually) getting to know myself.  To spend time with myself and my friends and my family.  To read.  Travel.  Exercise.  Teach.  Learn.  Really, just to be – whatever that may look like.

I’ve made some of my best friends working here. And tomorrow I get to call them just “friend”…not “coworker” or “employee” or “boss”….simply “friend”. More than anything, that makes this all worth it. That’s what is important. That after 15 years of hard work and dedication, I’m leaving with friends.  🙂

Tonight we’ll toast the memories and I’ll probably start my new life with a hang over but that’s ok. What else do I have to do?  Cheers…can someone pass me a Kleenex?

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6 Responses to Day 0 – The end has to come for the beginning to start

  1. you’re one of the bravest people I know, Candy. So proud of you and excited for what is next for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Leslie Fahey says:

    Congratulations Candy! It sounds like the next 365 days is going to be an adventure!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Blake Schroeder says:

    Candy, today is the 1st day in 5552 days that you have not been an NIC employee, you will be missed. I hope everyday is a new adventure.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pat Ulrich says:

    When Janet told me you quit NIC, I couldn’t believe it! I was there for 14 years myself and understand just how hard it is to “really” leave. After two years, I still have team building dreams with past coworkers. 🙂

    Good luck on your new journey and adventures!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so happy for you to begin this journey. Thank you for sharing it with us!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Day 365: A life of abundance and gratitude |

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