Based on some comments I received from several lovely ladies last night, I guess yesterday’s post seemed kind of heavy. While I was dreading writing it, I wasn’t carrying as much burden as I have in the past. I think over the course of the past several months, I’d been unconsciously untangling myself and letting go. So the act of writing yesterday was the last step in the process to release any energy that kept me weighted down or somehow attached to the hope. To truly free myself to grow and focus my energy into something more positive.
I know this because this morning I woke up feeling grounded…centered. Like I was existing 100% in my body…and I haven’t felt like that for quite some time. I wasn’t floating around in my head or listening to the voices that make up stories to get me all spun up over stupid shit – they were quieted. I was strongly seated in my center – in my heart – and I’ve been there all day. Honestly, I think thanking The Taste for “delivering me home safely” was a nod to the Universe that I was ready. I was ready to be fully connected to myself. To love myself. To care for and support myself. It was an acknowledgement that everything I need, I have within and I’m ready to embrace that.
This calm accompanied me on my first DIY project of the year. Ironically – and unplanned – this new project kicked off on Earth Day and allowed me to spend much of the day outside in the beautiful sunshine working on a project to convert an old storage bench into a planter. As I started on the project, it dawned on me that repurposing this piece isn’t all that different from what I’m doing with my journey…a process to repurpose my life.
Step one of my DIY project was to take the piece apart and clean it. So I could see, wipe away, and hose off the dirt and cobwebs that had tarnished the exterior. Step two was to leave it be to dry in the sun. Step three (and all the farther I got today) was to put primer on it so it’d be ready for a shiny new paint job tomorrow.
That’s basically what I’ve been doing with my life….taking it apart – piece by piece – and exposing the dirt and cobwebs that have cluttered my mind and heart…dulling my light and tarnishing my exterior. Those things that we carry — regret, guilt, shame, fear, self-loathing, hate, sadness — burden our hearts, weigh on our minds, and cause physical manifestations. By exposing those things to the light of day, we get to wipe them away…leaving an unburden soul to dry in the sun. It’s amazing how different putting on that fresh pair of pants…shirt….shoes feels. Could be the same one I’ve worn a million times but when I feel good on the inside, I feel great on the outside!
No matter the DIY project – whether on something or myself – it takes time. A commodity that until lately I was short on. I had forgotten how peaceful and empowering it is to have an idea and then take the time to actually DO it. As I sat in the sun putting on the primer, I couldn’t have been happier. I was working on turning an old bench that had spent far too many seasons outdoors, exposed to the harsh elements into a protected, freshly painted repurposed piece that would provide the container for new life and bring beauty to the yard and all that see it.
I was proud of myself for not running out and buying something new. I was proud of myself for seeing the potential in a bench that I’d thought about throwing away many times before. I was proud of myself for investing the time to turn the potential I saw into the real thing. And I was proud to see the tangible progress I made….no different than seeing the tangible progress I’m making on myself when I go back and read a post or feel centered in my body. I’m investing the time to delve into the issues and work through them because I see the potential in me and I’m going to make it happen. I’m repurposing my life and it’s going to be great!
Reduce…reuse…recycle…and repurpose your life and the things in it. Happy Earth Day! 🙂