It’s no secret that a big part of my journey is a quest to find love. Not just any love but real love. The kind that makes you giggly…makes you jump out of bed in the morning…makes you charge head first into adventures. The kind that is equally given and received. The kind that makes you want to be a better person. An easy kind of love that just makes your heart smile.
I have no assumption that finding this is going to be easy. I’m prepared to search…and patiently wait. What I’m not going to do, though, is settle. I’m not going to get fidgety or nervous that I won’t find it. I’m not going to question whether I’m being too picky or ask if I’m worthy when it doesn’t happen at some prescribed pace. And when I do find it, I’m not going to rush it. I’m going to savor each moment as we get to know each other, like a good dessert or a fine wine.
I thought step one of the process was to put myself out there…because we all know Mr. Right isn’t going to just walk up and knock on my door. Turns out that’s not step one. The first step is to decide what you’re looking for and to say it out loud…to the Universe.
I was sitting at Ball & Biscuit with Rogue Robot and Kilo and we were discussing how difficult it is for us girls to date. How it feels like once you’re out of your 20s, dating is so much harder…and online dating doesn’t make it easier. After listening to us for a bit, Rogue Robot asked me what I was looking for in a guy. Wow…that’s a great question. After pondering it for a moment I replied with this….
Strong and fit.
A man’s man.
I want to know that when I walk into a bar, he’s got my back if needed.
He doesn’t have to be into yoga but he needs to take care of himself physically.
A great sense of humor.
Clever and smart.
Good teeth and a nice smile.
He’s kind and compassionate.
A good heart.
I’d like him to have a sense of style…even if it’s not my style.
Loves music…maybe he plays an instrument or likes to dance.
Confident and charismatic.
Kavorka and swagga.
He can handle himself in a room full of people.
He can handle himself with a strong woman!
Tattoos (sorry, mom).
A motorcycle (again, sorry mom).
Not vanilla or bland. He’s got an edge…one that matches mine.
Age appropriate and emotionally available.
He’s not rude or mean.
He can take care of himself.
He’s been married. (At my age if he hasn’t been, that’s a flag for me)
He knows what he wants and goes after it.
I’m sure there were more things that I rattled off but those are the ones that I distinctly remember saying. That was last Monday. The next day, I got a new Tinder match. A recent transplant to Indy from Colorado. We messaged and he asked me out. After our first date, I reflected back on my list and…whoa…he seemed to meet almost all the criteria. I say almost only because it’s hard to tell how kind and compassionate someone is after the first date…when everyone is on their best behavior.
That was a little over a week ago…and we’ve been on four dates. I’ve met some of his friends and they all seem lovely. A couple of mine have met him and no one has thrown a flag yet. It’s still early and my eyes are wide open…no need to rush into anything. But I’m enjoying getting to know someone new. Someone with real potential.
Point is, your reality is a result of your intention and attention (thanks, Russell Brand). I told the Universe what I wanted…out loud…in front of friends…and she delivered. As Paulo Coelho says “And, when you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
Ladies (and gents)…whatever you want…ask for it…say it…out loud…to your peeps. And trust that the Universe will deliver. I’m not saying this is the guy…the one…but it’s a definite sign that the Universe is listening and that she can be trusted.
Can I get a witness, please???