Day 66: Sleeping to dream

A friend asked me what I would do if The Taste got his shit together and reached out to reconnect. Specifically the question was in relation to the fact that Mr. Universe has entered the picture like Brad Pitt rolling up to step out on the red carpet. Without hesitation, I said that ship has sailed…but it planted a question that played itself out in a dream.

I’ve always been a vivid dreamer. For most of my life, I’ve used my dreams as a means to work through struggles at a subconscious level. I’ve had visits from my grandpa after he passed when I needed reassurance that I was on the right road and heading in the right direction. I’ve closed doors (finally) on past relationships via dreams…had premonitions about life events that help to prepare me for how to handle situations before they happen. Needless to say, dreams are important to me and I pay attention.

So I guess it’s no surprise that I finally had a dream that involved both The Taste and Mr. Universe. And because I can’t have a dream that deals with just one struggle, work was involved too.

I was back at my old job attending a company conference. The after hours party had gotten a little out of hand and most folks were drunk. On my way back to my room, I ran into a co-worker (we’ll call her Giggles because I love her laugh). Giggles was upset so I followed her into her room to see if I could help. She was sobbing telling me that she’d had a crush on The Taste (here’s where two worlds start to collide) and had just found out he was having a fling with another co-worker. (We’ll call her Aloha.) Giggles didn’t know that The Taste and I had been a thing so here I was faced with comforting a friend who is crushing on someone that I had been involved with.

After calming her down, I head out to get to my room and I bump into Aloha in the hall. She attempts some small talk and I immediately shut her down. I don’t come right out and say I know she’s hooking up with The Taste because I kind of don’t care but I’m also not interested in being friendly so I tell her that I know what she’s doing and she should be ashamed of herself.

I finally get to my room. I walk in and it’s actually a house…complete with an upstairs where some other co-workers are hanging out…watching of all things, a closed circuit TV. Best of all, Mr. Universe is there (another world colliding).

We start chatting and because this is a dream, I’m having a conversation with Mr. Universe and can see what the girls upstairs are viewing on the closed circuit TV…all at the same time. For some reason, on the TV it looks like Mr. Universe is stealing stuff…even though he’s not. So the ladies come charging downstairs and accuse him of stealing. To which I jump to his defense and despite our best efforts to convince them that he didn’t steal anything, we realize it’s just better if he goes, so he leaves.

It’s the next day and I’m heading to a conference room to hear a guest speaker lecture. As I’m walking down the hallway, The Taste appears and starts walking next to me. As he walks, he starts to talk…I can tell he’s trying to test the waters to see if we can reconnect. I shut it down. Tell him I’m not interested in talking to him or being around him and ask him to leave me alone. He doesn’t listen…continues talking and walking with me. We enter the room as I’m starting to get more emphatic. I’m adamant that he needs to stop talking to me. He says fine and heads to one side of the room while I head to the other.

Suddenly the conference room seats are more like old wooden stadium bleachers. They are wobbly, crooked, soooo steep. There are no railings to hang onto. I realize how steep the steps are and how dangerous it is to be climbing them but I’m trying to find three seats together for me and a couple of friends. I finally get seated and the shenanigans ensue. I try to help an old lady find her lost diamond earrings (random). All the sudden there is ice on the bleachers (even though we’re inside) and I see a little girl slip off the back side of the bleachers (random). Weird shit is happening all around me.

Now The Taste is in the middle of the conference room cutting up and trying to get everyone’s attention. It’s almost like watching a circus act…with no talent. Out of nowhere, he grabs hold of a GIANT chandelier and swings his way over to where I’m sitting. Again, he’s seated to my side and just slightly behind me. Another encounter where we’re not looking at each other head on and having a “side conversation”. He tries to pick up where he left off. Telling me how things are getting ready to change for him…blah, blah, blah. Up walks Mr. Universe.

He walks up without an issue because the riggidy bleachers are back to normal stadium style conference seating. He doesn’t know who The Taste is so there’s no hostility or defensiveness coming from him as we start to talk…with The Taste watching. Mr. Universe affectionately touches my leg as we talk…rubs my arm. He’s standing in front of me having a conversation with me and a couple of other folks sitting nearby. Everything seems a little more normal…subdued… and then I hear from over my shoulder…The Taste say, “Oh, I see…this is how it’s going to be.” I pass him a glance with a sly smile and ever so slightly shake my head yes.

I’ve made my choice.

As I was writing this post, Jason Mraz’s Sleeping to Dream kept playing over and over again in my head. It’s one of my favorite songs and seems a bit appropriate given my dream….that I finally got tired of sleeping to dream about someone that’s not available and never really was.  But I don’t mind anymore because I get to wake up…to truly awaken…and find someone that is. Enjoy the song…I’m going to go enjoy being awake.

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