When my new insurance agent asked me what I saw myself doing in five years, I think my answer surprised both of us.
When I first retired and people would ask me this, I’d get a little anxious because I had no idea what my life would look like in five years…but I knew I was supposed to say something business related…because that’s what I’d been programmed to do. A successful and fulfilling life meant working hard and having lots to show for it, right?
So when he asked me, I immediately thought what the old me would have said…then discarded that answer and asked the real me what I felt the truth was. I paused and looked him in the eye and said, “I don’t know what I’ll be doing in five years, but I know what I won’t be doing. I won’t be working a regular Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 job….ever.again. Hopefully I’ll be doing something I enjoy doing and enjoying life with my family….whatever that looks like.”
For me, that was the first step in realizing that my life is very different than it used to be and will never be like it was. And that’s fantastic! Because that was the point of walking away…of making the decision and taking the action to leave my career and make myself a priority. It’s all about the intention.
I’ve started to notice how actions can actually reveal what a person’s true intentions are. The key is being able to take the time to pay attention and objectively observe our actions. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m not as interested in reading all the self-help blogs and emails I used to. I’m also not as interested in progressing some of the alternative trainings I was dabbling in. Nor am I interested in doing any work that I’m not 100% passionate about. All these realizations are a result of paying attention to how I feel when I’m doing things…or more specifically what I’m no longer doing.
I’m not interested in working to pass the time because I rather use my time to stay focused on me, my friends, and getting to know Mr. Universe. Everything feels sped up….I don’t want to look away and miss anything. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder how I got to where I am…or worse, wonder who I am. I want to watch the evolution…I want to be actively engaged in it while it’s happening. I want to make sure I’m being purposeful…mindful…true to my intentions.
So what are my intentions besides never working a normal schedule again? To get a dog…land the man…buy a baby on the black market (ok, that was sort of a joke)…to take vacations with people I love…to live simply but in abundance of the heart…maybe just be a housewife (something I never thought I’d say…not in a million years)…but I did just say it. Not gonna lie, it’s a little trippy when the life you thought you’d wanted since you were a little girl, isn’t what you want anymore.
I’m learning the value of stripping away all the bullshit…all the noise…all the unnecessary “stuff”. Of no longer caring what people think of me. When you get rid of all that and you’re still…quiet…able to hear the voice and feel what’s right for you, you’re able to see what your true intentions are based on your actions. And then you get to watch the Universe conspire to make it happen. I can only imagine what I’m going to be writing about at the end of this journey. 🙂