Day 97: There’s just a map and it’s existed in heart for a lifetime

ImageAfter taking a brief hike in Eldorado Canyon this morning, we cleaned up and headed to our tarot card appointments with Paula…which we quickly discovered didn’t involve tarot cards but rather an ancient numerology science blended with astrology.  It was decided that Kilo and I would reserve seats at West End bar to watch the soccer game, while Princess Grace and Mama J strolled down to the appointment…then we’d switch.

I haven’t yet heard how their sessions went.  We decided to share as a group over dinner, but I know how mine and Kilo’s were and two words come to mind:  spot on.  I don’t feel it’s my place to share Kilo’s reading, nor do I want to share all of mine in advance of sharing it with Mr. Universe, but here are some highlights.

Mine spoke of ending a career or relationship…um, yes, both…and starting a new life….hello, retirement.  She said I’ve entered a creative phase and have a maternal fairy godmother that watches over me wherever I go who’s helping me to stay tuned into my heart.  That I’ve learned the karmic lessons I was supposed to learn this lifetime and am now at a jumping off point, meaning…I can do whatever I want.  Because whatever I chose to do is the right choice.  I’ve learned my lessons and have earned my stripes.

Now, I still think I have lessons to learn but they are much more finessed.  The big ones have been integrated and I’ve moved onto subtle tweaks.

We talked about love, partnerships, family, career.  I wasn’t surprised by anything she said.  In fact, I felt going into it that she was going to confirm what I already knew or was already doing…so much so I considered not going because it seemed unnecessary.  But I went.  Funny enough, she confirmed my intuitive abilities…which made me chuckle.  I mean, those intuitive abilities were what made me consider not going…because I knew what she was going to say…and then she said it…and said I was intuitive.  I love the circular reference of it all (flashback to my geeky days).

So what do I do with this information now?  Nothing…or rather, the same thing I was planning to do prior.  I stay my course.  Hold true to the path I’m on.  Continue looking toward the horizon for inspiration…and within for guidance.  I feel if anything, she green lighted me to trust my instincts…my gut…my heart.  That since I’ve started following my intuition, I’ve been heading in the right direction.

Maybe this is what I needed to hear…that I know this…I got this…I’m where I’m supposed to be so any remaining hesitation or doubt can be released.  I can release that last little bit of social pleasing I’ve been programmed to do for so long.

It’s a weird feeling (sorry, Jim) to finally trust myself….about myself.  I never doubted my abilities or instincts in the workplace but in my personal life…whoa, that was a different story.  Now that I’m putting 100% of my focus into it…into my personal growth…I’m seeing the same results I did in my career.  Things are just flowing.  I instinctively know what to do…where I need to be…what I want to accomplish.  There’s no manual, nor any need for one.  There’s just a map and I’m pretty sure it’s existed in my heart for a lifetime (or several)…and I’m finally able to read it.  On it is written the directions to my personal legend…to the journey I’m meant to experience…and the path that will guide me there.

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