Day 121: Change begins with an inner desire for something better

IMG_5416When I hear people bitch about their life…or speak from a place of being a victim…with no intent of taking charge…making a change…or asking for help, I volley between wanting to shake them…walk away…or kick into life coaching mode.  Depending on the situation, none of those may be the right tactic.  

Making a change begins with an inner desire for something better…a deep felt need to break out…break free…step up.  Without that personal ownership in wanting to flip the script, nothing that I — or anyone — says or writes will ever matter.  And I know this because I’ve been that person.  I’ve been the person who felt trapped…stuck…handcuffed.  I’ve been the person who despite being miserable…and talented…and smart…felt like she had no options.

Luckily for me, I never stayed in the victim mode for too long.  Something would always click…the light would come on…and I’d see options.  I’d see that it was up to me…and that’s the point.  

It’s always up to you.  There’s always another option — or 10 — if you aren’t happy with your life.  It can be something small or something huge.  You can take baby steps or a giant leap…but you have a choice.  The choice is to do nothing…like you have been…or to try something…anything.  And if that doesn’t result in the change you’re seeking, try something else.  Giving up…settling…waiting…is for those weak of spirit.  For those that exist in a defeated state.

No one promised us an easy life.  Many of the struggles we face are placed before us to teach a life lesson…to build character…to test us.  Not trying is a guaranteed way to fail.

Two years ago…as I started to prepare myself for turning 40…I did a life assessment.  I took a deep look at what I liked about myself…about my life…and what I didn’t.  and I decided to start making changes.  Without realizing what I’d put into motion, I told myself — and anyone else that would listen — that I wasn’t going to have a mid-life crisis when I turned 40, nope…I was going to have a mid-life opportunity.

Just like that, I flipped the script.  I set into motion a new way of thinking about my life.  I took ownership and decided my birthday would bring nothing but opportunities my way.

Granted, that year was filled with super highs and the lowest lows, but I never lost sight of feeling that it was all leading me toward a better life…toward mid-life opportunities that would bring about the change I wanted.  So here I am, less than two years later, living a life I wouldn’t have been capable of dreaming…but baby step by baby step…something wonderful happened.  Each new empowered thought…each dream…each “what if” that I allowed myself to consider…turned into a result.  And eventually enough of those results changed my life.

This entry was posted in dreams, energies, future, love, relationships, retirement, self, self exploration. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Day 121: Change begins with an inner desire for something better

  1. IreneC says:

    I hear what you are saying … and understand it as well, but I have to disagree with you. It isn’t that easy for everyone to just change their life or circumstance if they aren’t happy or satisfied. Even though you’ve made mistakes in choosing the wrong partners, your responsibilities have only been in taking care of yourself. I have a son, 48, (married) and daughter, 47, (never married) and there are huge differences in their ability to change what they aren’t satisfied with.

    My son has children he must consider, which besides the usual roof, food and clothing, he must consider the ramifications of his decisions. My daughter has the luxury of only thinking about herself.

    Or it could be elderly parents who need care. Or lack of sufficient income to be able to do what you really want. Many people have jobs they really don’t like, but because of responsibilities can’t just chuck it to go be a circus rodeo clown.

    So while you, at the age of 41, have found you have the ability to make these changes, many people must wait until they are in their 60 or 70’s to do just that …once children are done with college, etc. And since people are marrying and having children later, this is reality. But by then, unless they have a partner to support them, they must conserve their money to see them through their retirement years.

    I just wanted to give you a different perspective on this post. I enjoy reading through your journey.


    • candyirven says:

      I totally appreciate your posting and perspective, but I’d like to clarify something. Making a change doesn’t have to be chucking it all…or even making a huge change. Despite my situation, I still have struggles…we all do and always will.

      Making a change can be as simple as adjusting your attitude to find the beauty in a life that feels chaotic or overwhelming. I’m not defining what means “change”…that’s up to each individual…but I still argue that we all have it in our capacity to make changes to improve our lives, regardless of our circumstance. It’s about your mindset and approach to life…all the good and all the bad.

      Thanks so much for your support and for still reading. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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