When I hear people bitch about their life…or speak from a place of being a victim…with no intent of taking charge…making a change…or asking for help, I volley between wanting to shake them…walk away…or kick into life coaching mode. Depending on the situation, none of those may be the right tactic.
Making a change begins with an inner desire for something better…a deep felt need to break out…break free…step up. Without that personal ownership in wanting to flip the script, nothing that I — or anyone — says or writes will ever matter. And I know this because I’ve been that person. I’ve been the person who felt trapped…stuck…handcuffed. I’ve been the person who despite being miserable…and talented…and smart…felt like she had no options.
Luckily for me, I never stayed in the victim mode for too long. Something would always click…the light would come on…and I’d see options. I’d see that it was up to me…and that’s the point.
It’s always up to you. There’s always another option — or 10 — if you aren’t happy with your life. It can be something small or something huge. You can take baby steps or a giant leap…but you have a choice. The choice is to do nothing…like you have been…or to try something…anything. And if that doesn’t result in the change you’re seeking, try something else. Giving up…settling…waiting…is for those weak of spirit. For those that exist in a defeated state.
No one promised us an easy life. Many of the struggles we face are placed before us to teach a life lesson…to build character…to test us. Not trying is a guaranteed way to fail.
Two years ago…as I started to prepare myself for turning 40…I did a life assessment. I took a deep look at what I liked about myself…about my life…and what I didn’t. and I decided to start making changes. Without realizing what I’d put into motion, I told myself — and anyone else that would listen — that I wasn’t going to have a mid-life crisis when I turned 40, nope…I was going to have a mid-life opportunity.
Just like that, I flipped the script. I set into motion a new way of thinking about my life. I took ownership and decided my birthday would bring nothing but opportunities my way.
Granted, that year was filled with super highs and the lowest lows, but I never lost sight of feeling that it was all leading me toward a better life…toward mid-life opportunities that would bring about the change I wanted. So here I am, less than two years later, living a life I wouldn’t have been capable of dreaming…but baby step by baby step…something wonderful happened. Each new empowered thought…each dream…each “what if” that I allowed myself to consider…turned into a result. And eventually enough of those results changed my life.