Day 137: Running, always running

I think I’ve always been a fast walker.  I’ve never really been one to take a stroll…nope, I used to joke that my Indian name would be Walks with a Purpose.
When I was working, I had to move fast.  I was either hustling to catch a plane, scurrying to a meeting, or hightailing it to an after work event.  Things were pretty much the same on the weekend…I was always trying to pack as many things into two days as I could.  Even if I was relaxing, I was purposefully getting everything else done so I could relax.  Or as Forest says, “If I was going somewhere, I was running.”
But now…now that I’m retired…well, I’m still running.  Just this morning as Mr. Universe asked me if I wanted to watch the other movie we got last night, I had to pause…and admit that I’ve rarely – if ever – watched a movie on Sunday morning.  He looked at me with a tilt of the head, kinda like Sheba (the puppy) does…and then just said, “Running….you’re always running, running, running.”
And he’s right.  Even in retirement, I’ve managed to pack my days with activities and tasks.  If I find myself with down time that I don’t know what to with, I just take on something else…or make up something to do.
Now that I’m teaching SUP yoga 5 days a week, starting a business, training a puppy, and writing the blog, I can see how all these little endeavors to keep me busy have actually made me really busy.
To the point that I’m looking back on those months right after I left my job and I’m wondering why I didn’t do less.  Why couldn’t I just sit still…read a book…look at the sky?  Why are those things I can only manage to do on vacation?
Now I’ve backed myself into a life that is full…lovely…but full.  Could it be fuller? Absolutely!!  I’ve lived that lifestyle already though and I have no intention of going back.  So while I feel busy now…running from one thing to the next…it’s nothing like what I used to do.
But that’s not the point.  What is the point is learning to find that balance between boredom and busy.  Between taking a stroll and running to something.  Between relaxing and maximizing my time.
I may never find balance…I may always volley between doing too much and not enough…but even if I’m running full speed ahead, I need to remember to keep my eyes up…my arms open…and my heart ready to receive.  Because you never know when you’re going to find yourself in that next great moment….you know, the one that’s meant to change your life.
This entry was posted in dreams, emotions, energies, future, love, relationships, retirement, self, self exploration, yoga. Bookmark the permalink.

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