Day 188: Sooooo….


Did you think I was going to skip today?!?  

That after my post yesterday, I’d given myself permission to take a day…or two…or ten off?  Well I spent most of the day thinking about it and a fair amount of time talking to Princess Grace about it.

But after nine hours in the car driving to Yogaville USA (yes, that’s right…I said, Yogaville USA) in the mountains in Virginia, Princess Grace convinced me that giving up on “something that no longer serves me” is just another way of copping out….of giving up…of quitting.  And ultimately, I don’t want to quit this because I have a plan…a bigger picture in mind.  That maybe it’s time to evolve how and what I post about instead of setting it aside.

She’s right. My struggles with writing lately have been two-fold…

(1) I’ve fallen out of a routine.  I didn’t always sit down to write at the same time every day but I did consciously make time to write each day.  With Mr. Universe enjoying some well deserved time off, my routine has been (happily) interrupted.  My priority shifted from making time for myself to making time for “us”…and it’s difficult to write when I’m actively engaged in being with someone.

(2) Much of what I’ve written about to this point has been struggles related to past relationships.  About sifting through old situations and circumstances to better prepare myself for the future…to better understand myself…to better light a new path.  Now that I’m on that path, I want to write about what’s happening now…in real time…but I have to consider other people in doing so.  It’s no longer as simple as making up a catchy handle for someone and talking about them until my heart’s content…or the discontent has passed.  I have to consider that people can connect the dots…that people know those I’ve affectionately nicknamed.  I have to respect their privacy…because I want to.

This doesn’t mean that I have to stop writing…or that I should stop writing.  It simply means that I have to find a new purpose…a new perspective…a new path for my writing.  Rather than simply spewing whatever struggle I’m dealing with in the moment, I need to step back and consider the theme or bigger message of what I’m dealing with…learning about…and write about that.

I’m sure there will still be plenty of personal stories shared…I can’t help it…I’m a storyteller.  But more than anything, I started this blog because I wanted to become a writer.  And being a writer means writing.  And writing isn’t always going to come easily.  Somedays it’s going to be a struggle…and that’s part of the journey.  Let’s be honest, if there wasn’t a struggle, I wouldn’t appreciate it as much as a I do.

So to those that reached out and shared their opinion about whether I should allow myself a reprieve from writing….To those that said they’d miss the daily read but appreciated the last 187 days….To those that urged me to continue because of the value it’s brought to their lives…To those that reminded me I’ve got a lot left inside to share…thank you.

Thank you for your support…for your love…for your challenge…for your permission.  But most of all, thank you for reading.  177 (and a 1/2) more days to go.

PS:  I’m at an Ashram for a Yin yoga teacher training…no cell coverage…no TV…no talking at certain times…no meat any time (of any kind)…a day of fasting.  I will have PLENTY to write about over the next five days!

This entry was posted in emotions, energies, future, relationships, retirement, self, self exploration, yoga and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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