Day 201: It’s about more than just one day

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Today the wedding planning started.  Mr. Universe and I both agreed that we basically want to elope.  His 2nd and my 3rd, our friends and family have been to enough weddings featuring us individually…and at our age, it’s difficult to buy into the business of getting married.  Because it’s a racket.  So much unnecessary money spent on making one day perfect when the focus should be on making the life together…every day following the wedding…perfect.

I’m sure this decision isn’t going to make everyone else as happy as it makes us.  I get wanting to share in the big day with people you love.  To be a part of the experience…to be able to witness the moment that two people commit themselves to each other.  But let’s be honest…y’all had plenty of opportunities to do that with me and neither worked out.  So maybe it’s time for me to try a different tactic.  One that works for me…because that’s where I’ve missed the boat to this point.

With both previous weddings I had plenty of messages and signs encouraging me to rethink my decision.  And in both cases, I ignored what I was hearing…seeing…feeling…because I felt committed to the decision.  I felt too far down the road to change my mind.  I felt the societal pressure — and monetary pressure — to follow through on all the reservations…deposits…invitations.

I don’t want to put myself in that position this time.  In a position where if something doesn’t feel right, I can’t change my mind.  I don’t want to do that to Mr. Universe either.  I want us both to openly and freely walk into this marriage because we want to, not because we have to.  I don’t want the focus to be on “the big day”.  I want our focus to be on every day after.

I think I speak on both our behalf’s when I say, we want this marriage to be about us.  Not our families…or our friends…or how…or when…or where we exchange vows.  While our friends and family are incredibly important to us and will always be important, this marriage will bond us together.  We will have each other’s back.  It will be us against the world in forging our happiness and building a life that works for us…regardless of whether that makes anyone else happy.

I think if we take that attitude into it from the very beginning, we will set ourselves up much better for success…and we hope our loved ones can appreciate that.  Three is my favorite number.  I don’t like the number four at all.  So this is it.  And because it’s it, it needs to be on my terms…on our terms.

Thanks in advance for everyone’s love and support.  xoxo

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