Day 207: Honoring thyself

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Yesterday was my sister’s wedding…and it was lovely.  She was a beautiful bride and her husband was a handsome beau.  They made a perfect couple.  

Part of being such a gracious couple is doing the right thing, which included inviting our father to the wedding.  I use the word father because that’s what he did.  He fathered us…but he was by no means a “dad” or a “daddy”.  There was nothing kind or gentle or nurturing or caring about him.

I hadn’t seen him or my grandmother in 11 years – by choice.  So last night…with both of them sitting across the room from me…well, it was incredibly stressful.  It’s something that I want to explain…something I need to explain…but I’m not able to do it today.  I need at least another day to collect my thoughts and settle my emotions.

I don’t want to tell the story because it might hurt him.  I want to tell the story because it further frees me from the pain.  And hopefully, perhaps helps some “father” from further perpetuating a hurtful cycle.  Hopefully, my story will serve as a gut check for a family to re-caliberate and do what’s most important….protect and nurture and love the children in their lives.

For now, I’m going to honor myself and take the time I need.  I’m going to protect and nurture and love myself…because as an adult, I know that’s what the little girl in me needs.

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This entry was posted in emotions, love, relationships, retirement, self, self exploration and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Day 207: Honoring thyself

  1. terryshen says:

    Candy,

    I admire your courage to take on some very difficult subjects. You must be ready to tell or not. That is a choice you have. In any events, glad to see your sensitive in honoring yourself. It is a journey that not everyone wants to or can articulate. Best wishes.

    Like

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