Everyday when I sit down to write my blog, I’m forced to think about how lucky I am. Even those days when I don’t really feel like writing, I’m still reminded of the fact that I’m living this amazing life…one where I have the privilege of doing what I want…one where I have the duty to fulfill commitments that I made for and to myself…one where I get to fully appreciate the people in my life and consciously make changes where needed.
Everyday when I sit down to write my blog, I pause…ever so briefly…to take in this wonderful gift I’ve been given. I pause to give thanks to the Universe for the life I’m able to live…for personal strength…for a newly found belief in myself…and for all the people that support me in this journey.
Everyday when I sit down to write my blog, I’m thankful. So today, on Thanksgiving, it seems only fitting to acknowledge this unique place I’ve been led to. To thank the Universe…the Higher Power…the Divine…the Light…God…whatever you want to call it…for pushing me to a place of such pain that I had no choice but to make a change.
Typically Thanksgiving is reserved for reflection on all the wonderful things in our lives. I contend, though, that we should be just as thankful for those dark days…for our rock bottom days…for the days of despair so dark we can’t see a way out. For it’s those days that we have the ultimate choice. On those days, we either shrink from the Light that exists within us or we pause…take a breath…and slowly begin to realize that we want more for ourselves. That we deserve better. That we are better. That there’s a purpose for our lives, bigger than where we are existing, and we’re going to find it.
Those days where we are so far from our best self that we question whether that part of us even exists anymore…those are the days we should be thankful. Because when we’ve finally been pushed down so far that there’s no where left to go but up, those are the days when we finally decide to make a change. When we finally decide to choose ourselves over whatever thing/person/issue/addiction. Those are the days that result in big changes.
So today as I sit writing my blog, I’m thankful for the weeks that almost broke my spirit in Pennsylvania. For the relationships that fell away when I needed them the most, so I had no choice but to dig deep and support myself. For the trust that was obliterated leaving me with no one to trust but myself. For feeling so utterly abandoned that the thought of actually being alone was a welcomed trade off. Those events led me to find a part of myself…to find a love for myself…to trust myself in a way I hadn’t before. Those events pushed me to become the person I am today.
Today I’m thankful for the dark…because it’s only at our darkest moments that we’re finally able to start to see the Light.