Day 319: I think I need to retire from my retirement

10830435_908372889203355_5491076356348814772_oThis week I started diving into the online lectures for my eating psychology program.  It’s awesome info and I’m super excited to start working with people about their struggles with food.  So excited that I decided to add up how many hours of videos I have to make it through Mod 1…because I can’t wait to dive into Mod 2 (there are 7 mods total, btw).  Ummmmm, 22 hours…in just Mod 1?!?!

And then the panic set in.

How am I going to get through 22 hours of lecture and read four supplemental books before the next module starts???  It’s not like this is the only thing I’m doing…

Queue the stress and sinking feeling that I’ve taken on too much.  I’ve got this program (which doesn’t end until September)…nesha…Amana…Monumental Yoga planning committee…training to be a volunteer at Coburn Place…teaching…and training two puppies.  Oh, and don’t forget being a new wife and trying to make time for friends and family.  I think I need to retire from my retirement.

These days my calendar looks more like it did when I worked full-time.  The meetings are different but I’ve resulted to color coding them on my calendar so I can keep everything straight.  Seeing at glance where my focus is supposed to be for the day…or hour.

I guess I should have expected this to happen.  In nearly a month and a half, I’ll have been retired for one year.  That’s right!  It’s almost been a year.  It’s only to reason that I’d gradually fill my roster with activities…that I enjoy.  And there lies the difference between working to live and living to work.

The jobs I take on now…the activities I decide to spend my time doing…are passions.  When I told Mr. Universe that I was mildly freaking out about the level of effort I needed to dedicate to this new program, he suggested I table it for now and pick it back up next enrollment period.

Thing is, it’s something I really want to do…now.  It’s something I’m interested in learning.  Something I think I can use to help so many people.  Something I think will augment nesha and even my yoga teaching.  It makes sense to me and it feels good to learn….now.

My brain hasn’t really learned anything new…I mean something truly new that required focus and studying…since my yoga teacher training program, which was nearly 5 years ago?!?  And look how that changed my life… 🙂

It feels good to be busy with the right things.  It feels good to be learning.  It feels good to see a new path starting to reveal itself.  Maybe I don’t need to retire from my retirement…maybe I just need to admit that I’ve come out of retirement early…and that’s ok if it feels right.

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