Day 339: Cutting loose

indexWhen I got the news on Thursday that I didn’t need to cover a fellow yogi’s class on Friday, I realized that it was the first day in possibly months that I didn’t have something scheduled that I had to do…no class to teach…no meetings…no calls…no place to be.

As a result, I had a few too many glasses of wine that evening and paid the price on Friday.  So my day of nothing to do, literally became a day in which I could do nothing.  I was ill…had a headache…was exhausted but couldn’t sleep.  I spent the entire day in my PJs…sick.

I have no idea how it happened.  I guess I really hadn’t had more than a glass of wine in several weeks and then managed to dive into the bottle Thursday night.  What was supposed to be a fun evening evolved into a day of dread with a massive hangover.

I wish I could say I had an epiphany while I laid on the couch, but I didn’t.  Thoughts were slow and muddled…and my body felt the same.  I questioned whether I had purposefully punished myself by drinking too much.  Nope, I was genuinely excited to have a free day.  I was genuinely excited to celebrate Mr. Universe’s new job.  And that genuine excitement turned into a bit of over indulgence.

You’d think by 42 I’d know my limits.  You’d think I’d be smart enough to say enough before it’s too late.  The old me would have spent the day beating myself up.  Trying to hide from the fact that I drank too much.  Feeling remorseful and regretful for losing control.  And that was the first thought that popped into my head Friday morning.

But then I said no.  I decided I wasn’t going to feel bad for drinking too much.  I wasn’t going to be mad at myself for having fun.  I wasn’t going to punish myself for letting go.  The hang over was bad enough without piling on top of it.  That was penance a plenty.

I decided to cut myself some slack for cutting loose and to come clean about it today.  If this was a regular occurrence I would welcome scrutiny, but it’s not.  So I drank too much on Thursday and I paid for it on Friday.  Today I’m feeling a bit more normal but not 100%…and that’s ok.  Cheers!

Rabbit rabbit.

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