21 days to make a habit

88784.originalThey say that it typically takes 21 days to make something a habit.  So imagine how I felt after 365 days…of writing…every.day. writing.  To say that it’s been a weird month since meeting my 365 day goal would be an understatement.

On one hand it was nice to not be so raw and exposed…always processing information and shifting through emotions.

On the other hand, though, I felt like everything just stopped. All of the sudden, I wasn’t processing the way I had been…through my writing.  All the sudden, I felt like I wasn’t moving forward…like everything just stopped.

When I wrote my last entry on Day 365, I told myself I needed a much deserved break.  That for one month, I wouldn’t do any writing.  I didn’t want to be tempted to continue forward simply out of habit.  If I continued…and at whatever frequency…I wanted it to be because I wanted to.  Not because I felt like I had to or was compelled to.

One of the interesting things I noticed during this 30 day writing fast, was that even after I stopped writing the daily blog my thoughts still continued to sound like I was putting together a post. I noticed myself fixating on particular topics or subjects that would have made good writing fodder. I would watch my thoughts form around a topic and noticed how my thinking had morphed.

Gone were random, disconnected, popcorn thoughts.  Each thought was mentally tested as a possible blog topic…even though I was no longer writing.  I could hear my thoughts, and they sounded like a story.  I’ve spent the past month trying to re-train myself how to think like a normal person…without subtext or context.

I think the biggest fear in walking away from the daily blog was how…if…I’d be able to continue manifesting my dreams.  So much energy went into writing…so many emotions were released…so many hopes and dreams set free into the Universe.  I worried that writing was my “magic”…and without it, everything would stop…or worse, disappear.

And for a while it felt like it did…stop, that is.  But that’s because it needed to.  The blog consumed quite a bit of energy on a daily basis and now that energy was free to be reassigned to something else.  It took me a while to settle into the energy and absorb the extra capacity.

Initially I filled it with busy work because it just needed to be filled.  My shamans recognized this and gave me the business.  Reminding me that more than anything, I needed to slow down. I needed to simply be with myself…with nature.  I didn’t always need to be doing or thinking about something.  Boy, that was hard to wrap my mind around.

But once I did…whoa.  I felt a huge weight lift.  Everything immediately became still…quiet…calm.  All the noise stopped…even the thoughts quieted.  It was amazing.

For probably the fourth time I’ve had a healer tell me I need to meditate.  That my angels and guides are trying to connect but I’m not sitting still long enough to allow them to.  Ok…ok…I’ll work on it!

It’s almost shameful to acknowledge that I have to “work on” slowing down.  That I need to “work on” making time for myself…for meditation.

But in this Yang world, we’re programmed to go, Go, GO, GO!!!!  And stopping…or even slowing down to a certain degree…is seen as lazy.  Also shameful!  I teach Yin.  I love Yin yoga and I know the power of slowing down.  I’ve seen it in my life and others.  Yet, if I take my eye off the ball, everything just speeds back up.

I guess my challenge for the next 30 days…besides resisting the urge to start writing more frequently…is to try to make it a habit to s…l…o…w…..d…o…w…n.  Taking a vacation at the beginning of May will certainly help.  🙂

I’ll let you know how it goes.  xoxo

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5 Responses to 21 days to make a habit

  1. Nice to see you back, even occasionally. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brook says:

    Yay! I am so glad to see a new post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi,
    I just came across your blog and can’t wait to read your whole journey. Do you teach Yin and SUP? I was on Invoke’s blog and read some of your amazing articles. I recently finished my teacher training in Baptiste-inspired power vinyasa yoga. I’ve started teaching at a new studio(A Yoga Loung)…therefore very few students right now. This is fine though since I can grow with the studio. I’m extremely interested in learning how to also do Yin and SUP in the future. Where did you learn these? I would like to take some of your classes soon. Fitting that in with family and work stuff would be the beginning I suppose😉.

    Like

    • candyirven says:

      Hi Stephanie! Congrats on getting your teaching cert – that’s so exciting! I learned Yin partly by reading and attending classes (Laura Haehl rocks Yin), but the best training came from 50 hours spent training with Biff Mithoefer at Yogaville USA. You aren’t currently able to get a certification in Yin but you can accumulate hours through Yoga Alliance sanctioned trainings, like Biff’s. SUP I learned on my own. I’m sure there’s training for that too but the best lesson, IMO, is to get a board and just play on it…a lot. Think of it like a mat that floats. 😉

      Would love to see you in class sometime! I teach at Invoke’s Northside location on Saturdays at 10am and the downtown studio location on Wednesdays at 7pm for the rest of May. Both are Basics classes but it’s still a good work out.

      Cheers!!

      Like

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