Day 361: It’s all situational

Posted on March 21, 2015 by

IMG_6241The other day a photo popped up on my Facebook feed. I knew everyone in the photo but not everyone was tagged.  It didn’t make sense that everyone would get tagged but one and then it struck me that maybe we weren’t friends anymore.  So I popped over to that person’s page to see.

Sure enough, we weren’t.  I’d been unfriended.  It’s not the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last.  For a brief moment I felt myself taking the unfriending personally.  Feeling defensive…a little angry…and then I stopped myself.

I paused and thought about my relationship with this person.  I remembered when I’d first met them…I didn’t necessarily like them.  Nor did I necessarily dislike them.  It was more that there was no real reason for us to get to know each…no real reason to be friends.

Over time, the situation changed and our paths began to cross more regularly.  Eventually, we found ourselves in the same circle and we forced to get to know each other.  To my surprise, I found that I liked the person.  I enjoyed their sense of humor, which I hadn’t really understood before.  I found them to be incredibly smart and a gifted leader.  I enjoyed being around them.

Now that I find myself out of the mix…having moved into different circles…I can see why we might not be Facebook friends anymore.  Once again, our situation has changed.  I don’t know the struggles they are dealing with anymore than they know my struggles (I mean, beyond what I share in the blog…if they even read it).

And because our situations have changed, so has our understanding of each other.  No longer are we interacting.  No longer sharing stories.  No longer understanding one another’s motivations.  Essentially, we are more like strangers now.

A part of me finds the thought that someone I used to know is now a stranger, sad.  Another part of me finds that thought exhilarating.  Knowing that if I bumped into them, we would recognize each other’s face but we’d basically be starting from scratch getting to know one another.

Maybe we’d like each other.  Maybe we wouldn’t.  That’s really neither here nor there.  The point is that neither of us are the exact same person we were a year ago…or however long ago a decision was made to stop being Facebook friends.  I don’t know the person’s motivation and it doesn’t matter.  When I objectively look at the situation, there’s no real reason for us to remain friends if we weren’t both finding value in doing so.

See, I believe that everyone comes into our lives for a reason.  To serve a purpose.  Either I’m learning from you…or you’re learning from me…or we’re learning from each other.  But there’s no accidents.  Each and every human I interact with I 100% believe there’s a reason for.  That interaction could be 30 seconds or 30 years.  It lasts as long as it needs to.  As long as it takes for something in one or both of us to shift….even if that shift is just a smile.

And that’s how I chose to look at this unfriending.  It doesn’t have to be something ugly.  Our time influencing each other has merely come to an end.  The purpose has been served.  Perhaps someday the situation will change again.

Until then, much love and kindness as you travel your path, old friend.

Namaste

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Day 360: What is your gift

Posted on March 20, 2015 by

IMG_6101This was the question that used to drive me crazy.  I’d be talking about trying to figure out what I should be doing with my life and someone would inevitable ask me what my gift was.  And then follow up the question with a directive that I needed to figure it out…because that would unlock the key to everything.

It was frustrating because it seemed like such a big question.  Like there should be one obvious answer…and from that answer, my life’s purpose would be unveiled.  But I could never land on one answer…most likely because I was asking the wrong question.

When I was a kid, I dreamed of being a teacher.  Well, actually, I dreamed of being a teacher and a supermodel, but even as a child I knew the latter was a long shot.  I would play with tucking my hair up…wearing a sweater…put on fake glasses.  I had a chalk board and used to make my little sister play “school” all the time.  I even went so far as to give her homework assignments.  I really wanted to be a teacher.

But then I got older and started hearing how teaching didn’t pay the bills.  How it was a lot of work for little money.  That it could be rewarding but often equally – or moreso – frustrating.  It was actually my teachers that attempted to dissuade me.  Telling me I should be a lawyer or something that would make lots of money.

So I lost touch with that original dream…because jaded adults tried to protect me by projecting their frustrations on my dream.  By the time I reached high school and was considering college, teaching never even entered the equation.  And I in fact applied to college for Pre-Law.  Man, am I glad that didn’t work out.

Occasionally throughout my career, a random thought of teaching would pop into my head.  It never stayed long because I knew how politically charged the environment had become.  I had too many friends that were disgruntled teachers or had already left the system out of frustration.

At one point I even signed up to go into schools and teach through Girls, Inc as a volunteer.  I had arranged it through work…and then that damn PA project happened that put me on the road for 17 weeks and I had to back out…before I even got started.

What I know now that I’ve had a chance to objectively look back, is that even though I wasn’t a teacher in the traditional sense, I spent most of my career teaching.  It was what I loved doing…helping people to learn…to grow.

And now that I’m retired and have the ability to do anything — or nothing — what am I doing?  I’m teaching.  I’m teaching yoga.  I’m teaching through coaching.  I’m teaching by being a business owner.  I’m teaching through writing.  I’m teaching by living my life on my own terms.  I.am.a.teacher.

If you’re wondering what you should be doing, I don’t think you need to ask yourself what your gift is.  Ask yourself what you wanted to be when you were little.  Remember the games you used to play.  Recall who you used to pretend you were.  That’s where you’ll find your answers…or at least some very good clues.

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Day 359: Manifesting your life’s dreams

Posted on March 19, 2015 by

IMG_6439I was talking to Princess Grace today and told her that it feels like we’ve been sitting on a high speed train that’s been parked at the station for months, and all the sudden it’s taken off.  All the things we’ve been dreaming about and talking about and trying to manifest are happening!  And the energy around them feels fast…and sure.  There’s not a single question in mind that what we want to happen is going to happen.  It’s called manifesting your life’s dreams.

I realized last night that Mr. Universe has the same power to manifest.  Pretty much everything I’ve seen him set his mind to achieve…or that I’ve heard him say he wants…has happened.

He was looking for someone to be in a committed relationship with.  Boom!
He was searching for a partner to compliment his life and push him to evolve.  Boom!
He wanted a dog (or two).  Boom!  Boom!
He wasn’t happy in his career and wanted a change.  Boom!
Months ago he told me that working at Harley would be his dream job.  Somehow it happened for him.  Boom!
He wanted a motorcycle…something that employees usually have to wait a year for…and he got it in two weeks.  Ka-Boom!

I could keep going with example after example of how I’ve watched him manifest his dreams, but I think you get the point.  When he…we…exist in our higher self…the place where we are focused on the higher good…of bettering ourselves…of striving to be the best version of ourselves…things like this can happen because the Universe supports us and rewards us.

I’m starting to think of the Universe as a parent who wants the absolute best for us.  But unlike most of our real-life parents, she has the unlimited ability to provide whatever our heart’s desire.  She doesn’t punish when we fall into our low self or act out.  She watches…supports us…provides us with lessons to get us back on track.  She doesn’t give hand outs.  She doesn’t reward bad behavior.  But she loves us no matter what.

To this notion, Mr. Universe and I could both offer up examples of times we existed in our lower self.  Times when life got really hard.  When it didn’t feel like we could catch a break.  Times when the life we so badly wanted seemed far from our grasp.  But looking back, those low points provided the best lessons to eventually get us back on track.  To push us to take drastic steps forward.  To encourage us to try new things because it was so clear the old ways weren’t working.  That’s how the Universe supported us even when it seemed like there was nothing…no one there lending a hand.

I label this power “the Universe”.  Mr. Universe calls it God.  I don’t care what name we give to it, I just care that we can agree on its purpose.  And that purpose is to help us see and become the best versions of ourselves.  To leave behind that which distracts us…pulls us down…diminishes our light.  To support us as we step onto our path…to experience our journey…to manifest our dreams.

It all starts so simply.  With a belief that you’re worthy of happiness…worthy of love…and that there’s something more waiting for you.  And then realizing that that something is you.

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Day 358: So much goodness

Posted on March 18, 2015 by

IMG_6196Today has been a busy day of accomplishments. It started at 5:30am – like any other typical Wednesday – so I could head out and get to Greenfield in time to teach my 7am yoga class. Yes, it’s a haul…especially at that hour…but the people that show up to class are so awesome.  Each Tuesday night I tell myself I need to give it up but each Wednesday after I finish class, I’m so glad I taught it.

And that’s about where my typical Wednesday activities stop.

When I got home I was greeted with a call from the General Contractor we’re in negotiations with for the north side expansion project.  They wanted to clarify a few things and send over the contract for signature.  I printed it….signed it…and sent it off.  Shit just got really real.  We are now contracted to officially start the buildout!!  All the permits are approved…so there’s nothing standing in our way…this.is.happening!  Breathe….

From that excitement, I popped up the street to a local coffee shop to meet up with my nesha partners.  It’s the first time the three of us have been together in months…maybe since Staraya headed off to start her advanced program in October.  It was so good to be together…catching up…and dreaming about the future.  We were able to fill Star in on all our crazy ideas…including our dreams of a new space and community outreach…and she loved them.  Further confirmation that our partnership is a good one.  With all three of us working to manifest these new intentions, it shouldn’t be long….

After that I headed up north to meet with a woman that teaches the Alexander Technique.  The simplest way to explain it is, every piece of equipment you own comes with a manual…except your body.  She helps you to get more in tune with how it is built to work most efficiently.  This means learning to sit, stand, walk, lift, do yoga…pretty much anything and everything…properly for your body.  We were so excited listening to her pitch and I can’t wait to see how we can involve her going forward.  Heck, I can’t wait to take a class with her myself!!

Next up, I headed to buy sheets/blanket for my Reiki table.  Laura and I are going to staff a nesha booth at 317 Bride’s Bridal Expo this weekend.  We’re promoting our Yin privates and workshops, Reiki, and Cards of Destiny readings to brides and offering them free Reiki sessions on the spot.  I can’t wait!  I was so excited, in fact, I popped over to the Athenaeum (where the event will be held) to take a look at our space.  Super excited!

In between errands, I managed to scan Facebook to see that the Kids Yoga event Erin and I wanted to do next weekend is officially on the schedule!  Woo hoo…finally.  I’m not sure who is going to be more giddy in class…me or the kids!  And this is just the beginning.  We’re hoping to make the “playshop” a monthly occurrence at the Invoke Wellness Center and plan to take at least the first playshop to Coburn Place for those kiddos too.

Once I got back home, I settled in to catch up on some emails and was greeted with information on a yoga training specifically focused on learning how to work with cancer patients.  Had I gotten this information a year ago, I might have overlooked it or thought it wouldn’t be a good fit for me.  But now…after my mom and the Redheaded Gypsy…I’m considering doing the training.  I know it would be yet another thing to throw on my plate but it’s a way to make sense of what happened to them.  A way to help them and others.  A way to spread some joy and bring some ease to an otherwise devastating period in someone’s life.  I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet.  For now, I’m just going to sit with it.

The last bit of news today was that we might have our current nesha office space rented.  This would be huge and would free us to fully manifest nesha 2.0…in a new space…with a new focus…filled with new energy.

So much freaking goodness today!!

Oh, and did I mention there was a pop up boutique parked right in front of my house?!?  Seriously…bought some cute shit.  Keep it coming Universe…and thank you.  🙂

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Day 357: A balancing act

Posted on March 17, 2015 by

quipple302Lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the “business-y” stuff I have going on.  I’m noticing the subtle difference between being busy at work and being self-employed busy.  To someone standing outside looking in, there probably doesn’t seem to be much of a difference, but to me…someone standing in the middle of it…it feels very different.

When I used to go to work, I actually went to work.  Even though I had the option to work from home, I liked the act of leaving the house.  Of physically moving into a different space…of having that physical separation between work and home, regardless of what was happening in my head.  I didn’t like everything co-mingling together.

When I first retired, none of this was an issue because I wasn’t working.  I was writing…doing yoga…running…spending my days doing personal stuff.  There was no work/life balance because everything was just “life”.  But now….now things have changed.

Now I’m teaching.  I’m enrolled in an 8-month long eating psych program.  I’m getting ready to kick off a build out for the northside studio expansion.  I’m re-envisioning and considering a build out for nesha, too.  I’m taking weekly classes to become a better yoga teacher.  I’m reading books to be a better coach.  And I’m trying to balance all of it with being a wife and still feeling retired.

As much as I’m striving to find my new work/life balance, I’m finding it difficult because I’m never actually “going” to work.  Even when I drive to the studio for build out meetings, I’m driving to the place I teach yoga…the place I take yoga.  The demarcations are hard to see and even harder to feel.

When someone asks for a meeting with me, we’re usually meeting at my favorite coffeehouse…or in my house…so it feels cozy, not like work.  Maybe that’s what it’s supposed to feel like.  One connection ebbing and flowing into another.  Surrounding myself with people that I want to work with and learn from and be friends with.

Maybe this is how the dance of life is supposed to feel….no real beginning or end…just a constant tango.  No clear lines of distinction because it’s all inter-related.

What I do know is that slowing down is going to become super important for me.  Making time to take time.  Time to reconnect with myself and with nature.  Time to sit and be still.  Learning to turn off the external distractions and tune into the inner workings will become crucial to feel balanced.  A balance that isn’t about work vs life anymore.  A balance that is about giving and receiving.  About tending to and nurturing others as much as I’m tending to and being nurtured myself.  Balancing teaching and learning…working and playing…talking and listening…thinking and feeling…masculine and feminine.

As I do a better job balancing my intentions and attentions with my actions, I think I’ll start to settle into a rhythm that better supports me…which in turn will allow me to better support those around me.  Again…everything…always a balancing act.

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Day 356: Feels like home

Posted on March 16, 2015 by

every-new-day-is-another-chance-to-change-your-lifeMy path led me to jump ship…to do something extreme.  It was the only option that made sense to me at the time.  I had run myself into the ground…and had nothing left to give to a new job.  I barely had anything left to give myself.  Leaving the rat race and diving head first into the human race was what I had to do to survive.

Not everyone needs such an extreme change to find happiness, though.  For some people a job change is exactly what’s needed…and maybe even a change after that until you find a place that feels like home.  That was the path that Mr. Universe took.

When I met him he was a manager at a car dealership.  He’d been in management for almost 25 years at a variety of stores, and he was burned out.  He and his boss had very different philosophies and didn’t see eye-to-eye.  That coupled with the usual office politics made for chaotic and hectic days.

As our relationship progressed and he started coming to my house directly after work, I could see the toll his job was taking.  The Mr. Universe that would walk in the door after work was a lot different than the Mr. Universe I’d see on his days off.  I know that this is true, to some extent, for everyone in every job.  But he was nearly a different person.

Finally he started sharing his frustrations.  It was pretty clear he was nearing the end of his rope with his boss.  Still being relatively new to Indy, it wasn’t as easy to job hop as it had been previously.  This market takes a different type of finesse.  When he couldn’t take it anymore, I told him he should quit.  His happiness was far more important than a job title.  I didn’t care what he did for a living as long as he could pay his bills.

Within weeks…maybe even days…he quit.  For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like he had to be a manager.  Like part of why I liked him had to do with his job or money.  I’d given him the freedom to ask himself what he wanted to do with his career…with his life.  And for that, we both know how lucky we were.

Feeling that he needed a break from management, he took a job as a salesman.  Back to basics with the intention to leave work at work.  This was the right move for a short time.  As much as he loved the group he worked for…and as much as he thought his burnout was solely attributable to his old boss…he started to realize he needed a bigger change.

And then came the potential to work doing something he’d always dreamt of doing…working at a Harley Davidson dealership.  To me this didn’t seem like that drastic of a change.  I mean you’re still in the personal transportation busy, right?  Yes and no.  A car is often a necessity for people, but a Harley is a luxury buy.  Those are two very different mindsets.

He’s found his way back to management.  Selling a product he loves and believes in.  Surrounded by people that feel the same way.  The atmosphere is relaxed yet driven.  He gets to wear jeans and boots to work…and listens to hard rock all day (ewe).  But it’s an environment that makes him happy and that’s what matters.

Just two weeks into the job, he’s able to see how clearly his work affected his life.  How not being happy at work meant not being happy at home.  It’s too hard to separate the two.  He’s almost like a different person…actually, probably more like the happy-go-lucky, carefree guy I met on our first date.

So to those folks that read my blog and think, “I’ll never be happy because I can’t retire yet.”  Nonsense.  Maybe your move doesn’t have to be that drastic.  Maybe it really is just about finding a place to work that feels like home.

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Day 355: A sleepless night

Posted on March 15, 2015 by

IMG_6189For the first time in quite a while, I had troubles sleeping last night because I couldn’t quiet my mind.  Around 2am, all the things I needed to do started parading through my head like a never ending series of floats.

I needed to send some emails…I needed to schedule some meetings…I needed to start module 2 of my lectures…I needed to read some books…I needed to mentality prepare for the possibility of two build outs…I needed to figure out the SUP schedule…I needed…I needed…I needed….

It took almost two hours to settle down all the thoughts.  What I noticed during those two hours, though, was that nothing was an emergency or urgent in nature.  Nothing had to be done.  Nothing was going to make or break a deal.  And the biggest revelation…and relief…no one was applying the pressure to me, except for me.

Everything I felt I needed to do was because I wanted to do it, not because someone else had imposed a deadine upon me.  It was that realization that finally quieted the voices and let me fall to sleep.

Trust that I knew what I need to accomplish to be successful.  Trust that I’ll get to the things that are important when I need to…and everything else in due time.

I know I’ve entered a new phase of my life where I’m self funding my business interests…and considering the potential of a second substantial investment.  It’s the money that makes it all so real and a little scary.  But at the same time, I’ve never felt so comfortable in the decisions I’m making.

They are the right decisions for the right reasons.  I’m spending money to make money and I’ll be successful because I’m doing what I want to be doing.  I can feel it in my bones.  I can feel it in my soul.  Everything I’ve done to this point was to prepare me for being where I am now…right here…right now.

It’s different when you’re trying to succeed with your own money.  Good news, I’ve always been a conscientious spender…no matter who’s money it is.  And even better, I know I’m on the right path.  That’s something I’ve never really known before.

That feeling of comfort…that feeling of knowing…that feeling of trust…brings a new sensation to a sleepless night.

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